Joan Rivers, an American Icon

     Joan Rivers was an American comedian who never worried about pushing the bars of what were and were not socially acceptable conversations on topics including but not limited to: women’s rights, politics, cosmetic surgery, and historical tragedies such as 9/11 and the holocaust. Joan famously said, on many occasions, when she would be asked if there is such a thing as going too far with a joke: ‘if you can’t laugh at it, you can’t deal with it.’ I recall once in one of her shows she made a joke about either Anne Frank or the holocaust in general, and the crowd sort of awkwardly cringed—which she expected—and she said, ‘what too soon?’
     This begs some bigger questions, and something I learned from Joan’s work. What is the socially acceptable amount of time to wait before talking about tragic events, and is it disrespectful to utilize the references in a comedic setting or is that just an avenue in which many people can heal from the trauma? It has been nearly two decades since the 9/11 attacks in New York, but still the vast majority of us shy away from casual talks of it. I personally follow Joan’s approach, the way I best deal with things is through humor.
     I am an EMT in the city of Newark, and as such I see some veery challenging things on a regular basis. People do not often think about the worst days of their own lives or the worst days of others people’s lives, but I have a special VIP backstage pass to those events and often am emerged in the middle of these tragedies. I do not mean for this to turn into a narrative of me whining about my job because I love my job and this is meant to be a tribute to Joan, however what I am getting at is that like Joan, I use humor to deal with what I witness. I do not make jokes to make light of the situation my patients are in or to disrespect them, I make a joke because it helps me make order of the chaos in my head from seeing what I saw.
     Joan is a legend and has always been an advocate for the betterment of women’s rights and rights of everyone else who may have had their voices diminished. She was the first woman to host a late night show and made so many other groundbreaking accomplishments in her lifetime. She was taken at 81—with more energy than I have every had—but her years were extremely impactful, to women, to LGBT members, to anyone who was hurting, an especially to me—a gay EMT from New Jersey who would much rather laugh than cry.

Joan Rivers guest hosting the Tonight Show (first woman to do so) March 6, 1986

Joan Rivers' book cover released December 30, 2008

Joan answers for controversial joke she made about the Holocaust

a taste of Joan's stand up